Thursday, 3 January 2013

Want To Know The Best Way To Avoid Wiping Out While Surfing?

Go surfing in the sewers!  You'll stick to that surfboard like glue on a booger.  Trust me.  I KNOW.

Any way, Christmas and New Years are in the bag again, so there's no excuses to keep me from pluggin' away at the Savage Mondo Blitzers spotlights.  Who will be starting off a new year of toy bloggery?  These guys:


As far as their weirdness-factor goes, these guys fall right smack-dab in the middle.  I think I've always seen them as bad guys (two of them even have "Bad" in their names), but they lack the edge to make them the main villains in my Mondo Blitzers stories.  Instead, they're thugs or henchmen, not unlike the Dudes of Disaster.  Maybe one or two of them could climb the ranks a little bit, but that's it.


Whenever I think of the Sewer Surfers, it's usually Butterfly Gone Bad that pops into my mind first.  There's just something about him that makes him stand out from the others on his team.  Maybe it's his bright cheddar cheese coloring.  Maybe it's the fact that he seems to be using a missile as a melee weapon.  He has a definite demon look to him, but I like to acknowledge his name and imagine him as an actual mutated butterfly.  He might not have much of his original form left, but I still think it works.  He could have the weird curly butterfly tongue, and when he's done blitzing and missile-swinging, he could curl up in the flowers and go to sleep.  Aw.


See?  I told you there were two guys with "Bad" in their names on the team!  For some reason Bad Audience has never really bugged me like Direct Hit has.  He's still just a rocker-themed guy who doesn't exactly fit in with a team of weirdoes, but at least he looks tough.  Direct Hit's all skinny and feminine looking, while Bad Audience has all the muscle needed for his crackin'-heads-with-a-guitar lifestyle.  I always figured that Bad Audience and Direct Hit would have shared a backstory.  Maybe after Direct Hit was kicked out of their band for his foul temper (which I'm sure NO other frontman in a rock band has), Bad Audience took over the group.  Then their tour bus/spaceship was attacked by alien marauders and Bad Audience was the last man standing.  Now he's thrown in with these other sewer surfing freaks and he's found a new calling:  Goon.  Hey, it's a living.


What Numb Chuck lacks in the brains department, he makes up for in the feet.  This boy's got some giant feet (all the better to ninja-kick you with).  No early 90's toy line was complete without the token ninja character, so Chuck's got it taken care of.  If only he was a little more interesting.  I know, let's make him interesting!  I always assumed the "Numb" is his name meant that he was dumb.  Like a numbskull.  But maybe they call him "Numb" because he's all aloof and cold.  He's an assassin for hire, and he's willing to work with anyone to get the job done.  Maybe he's not always a villain, but you have to put up the cash to get him on your side.  And ninja-kicking aside, he's quick and stealthy on those giant feet of his.  He can sneak up behind you... No, in front of you (he's THAT good) and nunchuk you in the head.  Oh yeah, baby.  He nunchuks heads.

Two heads are better for nunchucking than one!

There.  Now he's more interesting!


Now we're talking!  Just like no 90's toy line is complete without a ninja, no toy line featuring a bunch of wheeled speedster freaks is complete with a robot wielding a big-ass gun!  And while Lug Nut is a scrappy little guy who's been rebuilt more than once, Robozooka's been taking names and pretty much 'sploding everything else!  He looks like Robocops bigger, cooler, more 'sploding-y brother.  There aren't too many other Mondo Blitzers who could give Robozooka a run for his money.  Maybe Blade Invader.  Maybe.  And what are those things on the backs of his feet?  Rocket boosters?  Heel guns?  Both?  Could be!

So where are we with these Savage Mondo Blitzers spotlights now?  I believe there's only two teams left.  I have more lines where I want to spotlight each figure, so I'm looking forward to getting these guys done.  There's just too many cool toys to go around!  

But I'm fine with that.

Token ninjas.


  1. It's like a hobbit ninja! And of course, Robozooka takes the win both for being a robot, and having the best name. Seriously...Bad Audience? Was...was he part of the audience and he got up on stage to break the band's stuff? Was HIS audience bad, so he's attacking them? He's offcially (so far, anyway) the figure with the least thought put into his name.

    Well okay, Butterfly Gone Bad is pretty terrible too. I'd have called him Demonolition.

    1. Yeah, but Demonolition kinda sounds like Demonilicious, I like Butterfly Gone Bad. It's just so random!