Sunday, 3 March 2013

Load 'Em Up And Watch 'Em Fly! (Crazy Eights Part 2)

Man, I've gotten behind with these!  The first half of my Savage Mondo Blitzers Crazy Eights spotlight was done back in January, and I'm just getting to part 2 here in March.  There are other toy lines I want to talk about, and I've been waiting to finish the Mondo Blitzers to get to them.  There's newer stuff that I like that harkens back to my love of Mondo Blitzers, and I can't get to them until the Mondo Blitzers are done.  So...


The Crazy Eights seem to have two themes going on in their team.  There's the brutes (General Mayhem, Jack Hammer, Destruction Worker, and Fist Fight) who seem to be your standard manly-man sluggers, and the suburbans (Lawn Disorder, Shishke Bob, Armed & Dangerous, and Chow Hound) who could have easily crawled out of any sewer in any typical neighbourhood.  I don't think that was deliberate when Kenner was planning the teams, it's just something I noticed.

He's known as the "Hand with the Attitude" who won't "knuckle" under to anyone.

Woah!  None of the other Mondo Blitzers get a nickname!  Lucky!  Fist Fight (AKA "the Hand with the Attitude) is seriously armed.  Or fisted, if you wanna go that way (which I don't think we should).  That is one massive hand!  His left hand isn't as gigantic as his right, but they could both do some damage if he squeezed your head.  I see this guy as a dangerous Blitzer who is closing in on the top spot, but he hasn't quite made it there yet.  He's jealous of Jack Hammer's position as champion, and he'll take out any Blitzer that stands in his way to become #1.

Don't ever offer to give this dog a hand unless you've got a spare.

I think most people have a spare hand, but still, I won't be offering either of them to this pooch.  In keeping with similar types, the Crazy Eights not only have two construction workers on the team (Jack Hammer and Destruction Worker), they also have two dogs.  However, unlike Chow Hound who I assumed was smarter than he looked, Armed & Dangerous here just looks mean.  He doesn't have Chow Hound's massive head, but he's a scrappy little mongrel who bites off more than he can chew and then some!  Armed & Dangerous makes for somewhat of an unusual figure because there's two characters being represented here, and not like Twin Geeks where two characters share a body.  Armed & Dangerous are two characters in one figure.  Honestly, my perspective usually goes to the poor guy getting his arm ripped off, but it's really the dog who's the star here.  They should have been called "Disarmed & Dangerous".  Is the dog the one called "Armed & Dangerous", or is one of them "Armed" and the other one "Dangerous"?  Is the guy technically a Mondo Blizter, or is he just there to sell the dog's gimmick?  I figure since he's there, I might as well make him a Blitzer too, but what does he do?  Maybe his severed arm somehow controls the dog?  These two must be the most difficult characters in the series to make a backstory for!  I can't let them be the only ones I give up on!

Okay, "Armed" was a regular guy who learned that he could control animals by waving around a special stick that he found in an irradiated beaver dam while hiking through the woods.  He could use this stick like a wand to hypnotize and control his dog "Dangerous".  He would make his dog battle these bizarre Mondo Blitzers who suddenly showed up on Earth to use our planet as an arena for their twisted sports.  One day Armed learned that the stick wasn't special at all when Dangerous (who was always dangerous) ripped his arm off.  Now, while that did hurt (quite a bit), Armed discovered that he had the power to control animals all along, and he can still control Dangerous... with his severed arm.  Now they take on other Blitzers with Armed using Dangerous as a tiny weapon of mass destruction, while also using his powers to control the more animalistic Mondo Blitzers and turn them against their teammates.  Armed & Dangerous have taken their partnership to the very top of the Savage Mondo Blitzers game as members of the Crazy Eights!

There.  I did it.

This is one snack attack that keeps fighting back.

Sometimes it's not about the muscle.  Sometimes it's all about the tools you use.  Bob was a chef at a rather unpopular dive called "Sishke Bob's Meat Blobs" when an alien spacecraft crash landed behind his diner.  Bob did what any self-respecting chef with a mind for money would do:  He cooked up the alien and served it in his diner.  It wasn't very good.  In fact, it was worse than any of his other revolting recipes.  Bob lost his last customer and his diner went belly up.  Bob salvaged what little he could, which included hoarding some scrap metal from the downed alien craft.  He fashioned himself some new kitchen utensils, but instead of going back to work, he became a Savage Mondo Blitzer.  With all of these various aliens around using Earth as a battleground, some of them must be tasty, and Bob intends to be the first chef to make a new dinner-time classic that's truly out of this world.  He hasn't done it yet, but his persistence has taken him all the way to membership in the Crazy Eights, where he constantly serves the other Blitzers their just deserts.

He's one lawn job that kicks grass first and takes names later.

I've already mentioned on my blog that I'm a sucker for anthropomorphized food.  Well, I like anthropomorphized items from around the home as well.  I like a nice humanized lawnmower, and it might have started with this guy.  Let's say Lawn Disorder was a cyborg created by a mad scientist on the Planet of Grass.  This scientist held a grudge against his people, and Lawn Disorder was his answer.  Well, Lawn Disorder mowed the entire Planet of Grass.  He then mowed the entire Planet of Greener Grass (which was on the other side of the Planet of Grass' sun).  With no more grass planets to mow, Lawn Disorder was without purpose.  He wondered the cosmos searching for a meaning to his existence when he discovered the Savage Mondo Blizters Games.  He came, he mowed, he concurred, and now he's one of the mighty Crazy Eights and he's never been happier.  The mow, the merrier!

That's it!  That's all of the Savage Mondo Blitzers that saw the light of day!  But that's not all there is to cover.  The Crazy Eights not only double in size of any other team.  They also come with an accessory, to further prove their mighty worth.


Any of the Savage Mondo Blitzers can be used with the Lightning Launcher.  Just click them into place and press the button on the back to send them blazing across the floor.  While only the Crazy Eights came with a Lightning Launcher, I can see all Blitzers using one to launch into battle during their games.  It would have been nice to get a second Lightning Launcher (maybe in another color), so you could launch two Blitzers at each other, but this was the only one we got.  Maybe I'll go online and try to track down a second one some day, but my collection feels more complete by finally getting this one.  As I said in the first part of the Crazy Eights spotlight, I got most of my Crazy Eights loose on eBay, but the set was missing Jack Hammer and the Lightning Launcher.  I eventually found a whole set and I thought my Savage Mondo Blitzers collection was complete.

But it wasn't...


  1. Fist Fight: HA! That guy looks like "Well I'm gona go forward like this and if you're in the way that's your own fault."

    I'm gona say "Armed and Dangerous" is just the dog, 'cause the dog itself is now "armed" because he's carrying an arm, and the fact that this happened makes him dangerous. And I'm gona call that guy Steve and wherever Armed and Dangerous is, he follows 'cause he's constantly trying to get his arm back. Every time he's close, a battle errupts and he can't get it back. Either that, or every time he goes for the arm the dog just grows and tugs it away.

    That Lawn Disorder is the best, though.

  2. Yeah, Steve could be trying to distract Armed & Dangerous with the stick, but so far he's had no luck.