Monday, 19 November 2012

The Mondo Of The Mondo

It's Mondo time again!

Back in my Butt Kickers post I talked about how my brother and I got our first Savage Mondo Blitzers toys in a goodie bag from our other brothers birthday party.  He got Secret Weapon from the Butt Kickers and Lug Nut from the Scars and Spikes Gang.  My original two were also from Scars and Spikes:  Kiss My Bat and Aping Wound.  Now no matter which figures I like most in terms of looks, this team will always be THE Savage Mondo Blitzers as far as I'm concerned.  But the best looking figure's here too.


It should be obvious by now that one of the main themes in my Mondo Blitzers spotlights is to give a backstory to a line that doesn't have one.  Of course everyone's entitled to their own, but in my story I picture the mutant and alien freaks of the Mondo Blitzers universe using Earth as their battleground.  I actually tried to write a Mondo Blitzers story a few years ago.  Back then I was making the Scars and Spikes Gang my heroes, just because they're the original cool.  My storyline now has the Concrete Breakfast Gang as the heroes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let these guys fall by the wayside.  Maybe they can join up with the CBG early in the story.  There's room for eight heroes!


To me, Kiss My Bat is the Mondo Blitzer of Mondo Blitzers.  If I had gotten someone else for my first SMB figure I'm sure he wouldn't have topped any of my lists.  He's big guy with a skinless skull for a head, which is cool.  He's also a baseball player, which is less cool.  But the baseball bat is on fire.  That's cool.  So he's not perfect, but he was my gateway into a toy line that I'll love forever.  So it's all good.  I can forgive his baseballness.  He's pretty baller either way.

I'm not a sports fan.

Clearly nostalgia has a lot pull with me, when the baseball player is one of my favorites.  Any way, the card art even has Kiss My Bat right there in the thick of things, flaming bat blazing with glory (and nearly taking Fat Ax's head off).  What else can I say?  He's the man.  He's THE Savage Mondo Blitzer.


To me, Aping Wound is the Mondo Blitzer of Mondo Blitzers.  Wait!  Didn't I just say that Kiss My Bat was the Mondo Blitzers of Mondo Blitzers?  Yes I did.  Aping Wound and Kiss My Bat are the Big 2.  I've always slightly favored Kiss My Bat out of the two of them, but they're the ultimate duo in my Mondo Blitzers world.  I could never have one without the other.  I think I favor KMB because he's a human (or a mutant human, anyway) and Aping Wound is an animal.  That's a weak reason to favor a character, but he just barely edges him out anyway.  As for the figure itself, Aping Wound is one beefy gorilla chained to his "mondoboard".  He's also black and purple.  Is he an alien?  Is he a mutant?  Probably.  And is he really chained to his mondoboard, or is it chained to him?  I can see him whipping it around like a weapon, all angry-ape like.  He can speed into battle on it, get you with a few giant gorilla smacks, and then smash you with a swinging board attack.  I mean, a normal gorilla can be pretty crazy when he's mad.  A mutant gorilla?  Ya dedd.  Like, DEDD dedd.


Lug Nut here rounds out the First Four.  He was the other Blitzer my brother got in his goodie bag (along with Secret Weapon).  My brother was always more into robots and the evil-looking aliens, where I liked the mutants and weirdos.  Even back then my mom got us.  My brother got the robot and the alien, I got the gorilla and the skull headed goon.  

I always saw Lug Nut as something of a scrap heap, even if he doesn't really look like one.  Most of his parts seem to match (with the exception of his chainsaw and pincer/scissor hands).  I think it was because his base looks like a crushed car, and because his face is lopsided.  His mouth looks like it only opens on one side, and only one of his eyes is painted.  I'm assuming that I didn't just get a dud with an unpainted eye and that they all came out that way.  The quick search I did on Google didn't turn up any pics where you can see Lug Nut's right side (wouldn't it be cool if I had the only right-sided Lug Nut pic on the 'net?) so I can't tell.  Anyway, it looks like his right eye is damaged, which adds to his scrappiness.  I figure he's the mechanic/inventor of the Scars and Spikes Gang (even if he is a little nuts).


My friend Alexx has a blog called Toys and Tomfoolery that was started not long before I started my own.  Since June of this year he's been pumping out hilarious and somewhat demented toy reviews that can always been counted on to put a smile on your face.  His blog delivers exactly what its title promises: Toys and tomfoolery.  My blog is called The Plastic Eyeball, and since July of this year NOT A SINGLE PLASTIC EYEBALL HAS BEEN COVERED!  Not one!  Until now.  Oh, Scars and Spikes Gang.  Three out of four of your members are my original figures.  The fourth is a frickin' eyeball head!  Best SMB set ever?  I think so.  He's even represented in the card art with Kiss My Bat.  Only the Dudes of Disaster also got to have two team members on the package, and one of them is getting a nunchuck across the head.

Eye Pus is all kinds of wicked.  He's some kind of mutant human (there's those four-fingered hands again) with snappy silver pants and tough-guy wrist cuffs.  And he's got a future-y gun. My figure's gun has a weird flap hanging down that's not supposed to be there, but I can't bring myself to cut it off.  It would expose the plastic color under the silver, and honestly after all this time it just looks like part of the gun to me.  But the gun, the tough-guy cuffs, the snappy silver pants, even the moon boots, none of that matters without the GIANT EYEBALL HE HAS FOR A HEAD!  Look at the size of that thing!  It's almost the same size as his body!  I love how the green and red of the eye stand out from the rest of the figures color.  I also like how the veins (or muscles, or whatever they are - I'm an eyeball head guy, not an optometrist) tangle down into his back.  What role does he play in the Scars and Spikes Gang?  Scout.  Lookout.  Awesome.  Something that plays to his strengths.  He's just my favorite Mondo Blitzer, and that should surprise no one.  He might not be THE Mondo Blitzer like Kiss My Bat (or Aping Wound), but he is the best, and that counts for a lot.

I'm almost half-way done the Savage Mondo Blitzers spotlights!  How sad!  Will I have anything left to cover after these guys?

Of course I will.

Eye Pus can even make Snake-Eyes look less cool.
But at least he has "Eyes" in his name.


  1. The first eyeball in The Plastic Eyeball - a toast to you!

    And so far I gotta say, if I only chose three figures, I'd get Gun Runner, Tyranosaurus Ax, and Lug Nut there. Anyway, I agree Lug Nut looks like he's scrapped together. His colors are painted to match, but looking at the details, you can see the sides are mismatched. Very cool feature!

  2. Well, technically he's only the first eyeball figure that I talked about. I had one in The New Setup, but I didn't talk about his eyeballness.